My "Rainbow" Writing Hack - A Simple Trick to Get Past the "Blip-ity Blank"

 

 

 

I am sure this happens to a lot of you writers out there.

You just get a great idea for a blog post, or, you have an idea for a book. You eagerly fire up your computer and open the word processor to begin jotting down the first ideas, or, to get the rough draft started however so rough, when almost imperceptibly at first, as you stare at the blank page, your motivation to begin flexing those fingers and have them dance across the keys ebbs, then digressively drains away with each successive blinking of the that vertical blip called the cursor.

It is aptly called that, certainly seems like a 'curser'. You feel like every good idea and just got sucked right out of you, like some vampiric curse is draining you of your author-powers when a moment ago you were all revved up and ready to reveal your imagination and thoughts into the visible realm via the written word.

Now, trying to nail down that very first sentence let alone the first paragraph becomes an energy- sapping ordeal, your inspiring thoughts seem morphed into the strange sensation felt during those debilitating nightmares when you try to run, but your legs move with a lumbering stumble as though your were wading through a field of wet cement bogged up to your knees.

Then the doubts set in.

'Will this sound good?' 'Is this just good in my head, but will be boring to everyone else'? 'Wow, this story could take a thousand directions. Maybe I need to think about this...'

The dreaded bane of a writer next makes its presence felt – procrastination.

 

 'Maybe I need to do more research', you ask yourself, (the internet begins to beckon....) 

 

 Worse yet, impostor syndrome. 'Gasp! Am I really a writer at all?'

Before you realize it, the ideas just don't want to come out, or, you are now unsure if it was such a good idea, and struggle to put things into a visible, legible form. You had a whole outline in your head, and here you are, staring at a blank page – for hours!

And / or, you got lured into 'doing more research', your hours spent Googling diddly-squat having fallen prey to the pretext your were being productive as long as you were researching, but basically, doing anything to escape the white brick wall you were banging your head against, hoping you just might get your elusive writer's mojo back.

The horror!

Why does this happen?

Frankly, I don't know. I wish I did. I've wasted so much time sitting staring at a screen because of this curse.   But, it must be something that 'clicks off' in our brains the minute we sit down to a blank, white page, especially when writing on a computer. That's my guess, anyway.

This may not seem related, I once read an article theorizing why we tend to forget what tasks we go to do the minute we enter another room, or, go up or down the stairs. I wish I could find the article, but the gist of what I remember is, our brains are set to remember actions in specific 'patterns', and the theory was that for some strange reason, 3D shapes could affect these patterns. When we go through the rectangle frame of a door, or rise up to another level of the house, or down, we could be hitting a certain type of visually activated 'reset' switch in the brain, which then resets short-term memory. I guess it is like when our computer gets jammed and simply turning the thing on and off resets it and clears the cache. Maybe our brain gets bogged down with mundane tasks, does a bit of a stall and then resets when it goes through the door frame? Interesting concept.

I've also read articles on how colours can affect mood, productivity and spending habits, you probably have as well trying to build a website people will engage with, design an appealing book cover, or effective advertising, packaging, etc. The interesting thing I read is that certain paper colours can help you retain information you are reading, crème and yellow paper works best for this if I remember correctly. I always wondered why I liked legal pads for doodling, and crème colour book pages over white paper when reading ....

A thought then came to me – perhaps I am getting mentally closed off by just the blank white background? Starting a new blank page, even when already well into a story just seemed to halt progress on getting words out and down, some times seemed worse than others. Psychologically the plain, rectangular white block in front of me could be suggesting the 'emptiness' of 'nothing', or, the strange impression everything I write is starting from 'scratch', even when I have already progressed pages into a draft. So, it was possible the colour was also 'resetting' the brain to feel like this.

Intrigued with the idea of the brain resetting itself, and, wondering if colours could influence this during the writing process, I thought why not try experimenting with changing the page colour? 

 I was going into a particularly dark area of my second novel Vocation of a Gadfly when I thought of it, so, why not pick something that was matching the 'feel' of the scenes I was trying to describe and see what happens?

At that point I chose a dark grey. Yes, dark grey. 

 

But, isn't the colour more depressing? Won't it make things worse? Hey, the scene I was working on features an half-abandoned, gruesomely nefarious insane asylum after all. No harm in experimenting ....

I didn't think it would help much if at all, it was just a change of page background, but words were coming out, the colour helped keep me in the 'feel' of things, it made it harder for the dreaded 'procrastinating screen stare' to settle. When the mood changed in the story, I did it again, switched the page background to a different colour. Creme, light yellow, tan, even light pink and sky blue, depending where the plot went. When my document program didn't have a preset colour that was 'just right' I used the 'colour picker' and played around with the rainbow of colours until I got a shade that matched the mood of the scene, or, was depicted the mood I was aiming for.

Could something so simple do the trick? Huh. I guess so. I certainly got my draft finished with less 'screen stare' getting in the way!

Now, I am sharing my little 'rainbow' draft hack with you.

If you haven't already stumbled upon this idea yourself, try it, you may be surprised. I was.

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The Freshman Essay Writer – A Funny Blast from the Past – Plus Useful Tips on How to Write a College Essay

As I was recently cleaning out some of my bookshelves and drawers to get ready for the next writing project now that my latest novel has finally been published, (you can learn more about that by clicking here), I came across a reference sheet handed out to us in our Freshman year in college typed up by Dr. Michael Murphy who taught the Romantic Era Music course in the department. 

If you are wondering what my major was, I studied music / musicology at UCC, Ireland.

Amazing I still had this leaflet after all this years, but then again, right now I still have all my college notes - never throw out a useful piece of information is my motto!

The sheet includes basic but some helpful advice on how to write college essays – and I couldn't help but have a good laugh over it. The good Professor had a sense of humour when it came to whipping the inexperienced writers into shape with his handouts.

It's worth sharing for its practical information, and, to show what greenhorns we were when it came to writing on an academic level. Hey, we were fresh out of high school after all, and in Ireland what they called an 'essay' in English class is what I would call creative writing and short story lessons, we hardly received a lesson on how to produce a real hard-core essay arguing a point, not like I remember when I was in grade school in the States. (Yeah, my Fifth and Sixth Grade teachers believed in starting early when it came to college preparation!)

However, the English classes in Ireland were different.  As a result, the professors had a mess on their hands when we Freshmen all arrived.   I was certainly rusty even after the 'creative writing classes'. They must have had a good snicker or two over the first wonky 'scholarly' scribbles we handed in as 'essays'. Prof. Murphy kindly gave us the following to sort us out.

Of course, the old sheet I discovered is geared to music students, but you can still learn a lot from this if you're new to essay writing, and, you might get a good chuckle to make your day. Here it is, an example essay title and how to begin along with Professor Murphy's comments. (My comments / explanations will be in red if and when needed):

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STUDIES IN REPERTORY MUS 115

ESSSAY TITLE (with advice)

'Outline and discuss the main issues of Romantic programme music.'

There are two tasks involved (i) outline or identify and (ii) discuss the main (most important, seminal) issues (topics, themes, concepts as you perceive them) of Romantic programme music. You should identify the origins of programme music, the main genres which were dedicated to prog mus, the composers who championed it, the philosophy of prog mus (e.g. the nineteenth-century idea that instrumental music has the power to speak and be 'poetic', that music didn't need words to be complete, that music was more suggestive and expressive and insightful of the imagination than words could be because words are too specific whereas music has access to the imaginative world and can bypass consciousness without hindrance from specific categories.) There is also the issue of prog mus, symphonic poem and nationalism. Throughout your essay you must refer to specific works which were dealt with in class and with which you have become familiar from your own study. You may photocopy extracts from works to illustrate your points or you may refer to specific bar numbers. If you wish to quote an author or lecturer you must acknowledge the source in a footnote. (I have given advice on this below). It is immediately obvious if you copy something directly out of a book because the prose style suddenly changes (not always for the better) even if you scrape around for synonyms and alternate words and alternate grammar structures. There is nothing wrong with quoting other people. In fact you are supposed to do it, but you should (i) acknowledge your source and (ii) make an intelligent comment about the quote (e.g. state why you are quoting this author (because you can't think of anything of your own to write is not a good reason), do you agree with his / her point, do you wish to modify it, contradict it, do you think it clarifies some issues etc). Your first point of reference should be the Grove Dictionary of Music and Musicians. There are two copies of it in the library (if you don't know where it is- I mean the dictionary of course) then ask a librarian or another music student. You should consult the article on Romanticism, Programme music, Symphonic poem / tone poem, and the article on relevant composers, and genres.

 

Please don't start your essay with a long definition from the Grove of what prog mus means. I know what the Grove and most other books have to say about the issue, I am more interested in what you have to say. Also don't write biographies of the composers. You should set out your main points in the first introductory paragraph.

Some points about writing an essay.

Refrain from using conversational idioms and informal phrases. Such as ' Ya know the way that Chopin begins the Ballade is a sort of like an introductory bit.' Don't ask questions in the essay for example, 'Why does Liszt give titles for his symphonic poems?'. Don't write long meandering sentences which never get anywhere, and which, through the inclusion of many, and sometimes superfluous clauses, tend to elongate the sentence to monstrous proportions which have the effect (and an undesired one at that) of boring the reader to distraction. Keep the sentences short and to the point. Don't use abbreviations when writing long words. You may type your essay. Use a dictionary (or spell checker) to clarify any spelling you are not sure of. All of these instructions are designed to get you writing in a professional manner. To be a good writer you have to be a good reader which means reading with a dictionary and with a critical attitude. Just because something is written in a book doesn't mean it is true. It could be an opinion, and opinions can be wrong or misinformed. You are in a university to form your own informed opinions. There is little merit in stating something without being able to support it with evidence and thought.

CORRECT             INCORRECT (even if I do it in handouts)

do not                             don't

cannot                           can't

does not                        doesn't

separate                       seperate

programme music      prog mus

Please note the difference between nineteenth-century and nineteenth century. The first one is as follows: 'Chopin is a nineteenth-century composer, and the Ballade is a 

nineteenth century programmatic genre.' In this case nineteenth-century is descriptive as an adjective. The other one is simply 'In the nineteenth century blah blah blah'.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE FOLLOWING SPELLINGS.

Rythmn, genre, dialogue, legato, dissonant, virtuoso, interrupt, domineering, definite, equal, arabesque, metre, centre, programme (not 'program' which is the American style. Use the Anglo version of words.) competent. Not the difference between 'to compliment' and 'to complement' – I'm not going to tell you. Consult a dictionary.

(Note: Since the classes were very small, about 20 to 30 Freshman students if I recall, I think the rat-a-tat-tat about American spelling was added for my benefit. In Ireland the Anglo spelling of words is used. Hence, they did a good job of knocking the American spelling out of me! So, if you wonder about the British style is in my works with switched 'r' and 'e's, extra 'u's, not to mention 's' instead of 'z', things like that, now you know.   Also, as a music student we have to understand musical terms and titles in other other languages, which explains the next part. German terms and titles can be confusing!)

ALSO NOTE THE FOLLOWING GERMAN WORDS

'lied' = German song

'lieder' = plural of 'lied'

Ein Heldenleben

Dichterliebe ('liebe' means love)

Liederkreis

THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IN WRITING AN ESSAY. THE FOLLOWING EXAMPLES ARE TAKEN FROM YOUR LISTENING TEST ANSWERS.

(In 'listening exams', we had to recognise a piece played over the sound system, the composer, and if we didn't know the piece, that is if it was a surprise sound clip or we couldn't remember the piece, we had to explain who we thought it was and why, explain the style etc. Our listening test answers were also just as wonky!)

IF YOU SEE ONE OF YOUR MISTAKES IN THE LIST BELOW DON'T PANIC. I DIDN'T TAKE ANY MARKS OFF FOR THEM AND I WON'T REVEAL YOUR IDENTITY TO ANYONE UNLESS THE PRICE IS RIGHT. (Yes, the Professor typed that!)

Don't use words you don't fully understand, and don't use words in the wrong context e.g. 'befuddling' is not an apt choice in reference to piano technique.

Don't write 'Chopin wrote a lot of piano music in his day.'

Don't write 'This music is difficult to play live.'

Please don't write 'Strauss takes the mickey out of his critics in Ein Heldenleben.' Try to be more professional 'Strauss satirises his critics' would be more appropriate.

Don't write 'This music is definitely danceable to.'

Don't write 'In this piece there is a question and answer type of thing'.

Some of you are a bit confused as to which century you are in. Chopin was very dead in 1935 but he was composing in 1835.

(Chopin is not impressed.  Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)

Please don't repeat the same thing over and over and over and over and over again and again and again and again and again etc etc etc etc because it tends to make the reader very very bored and somewhat tired indeed when he / she realises that the writer has little to say but insists on saying it many times just to fill out the page with ink. State your point once and leave it at that. If you want to refer to a point you made earlier then do it, but don't repeat the same thing ad nausem.

GUIDELINES FOR (I) FOOTNOTES (II) BIBLIOGRAPHY

KEEP THIS PAGE FOR REFERENCE IN FUTURE YEARS

Footnotes:

The function of footnotes is to allow you to give the source of a book from which you quoted something in your main text. You can also use a footnote to add some opinion of your own to a statement in the text or to give some extra information which would interrupt the flow of your text (see example x, number 3 below).

Footnote can be located in two place (i) at the bottom of the page (ii) at the end of the essay. The choice is yours. Footnotes must be numbered (i.e. not with letters). There is a format as to how you present the information in the footnote. See example x

example x

1 Carl Dalhaus, Esthetics of Music, tr. William Austin, Cambridge University Press, Sydney, 1982, p. 122. (Henceforth Esthetics)

2 Ibid., p. 123.

3 Schumann also wrote songs to poetry by Heine.

4 Esthetics. p. 124.

In this example note the following:

(I) After the footnote number you give the Author's name <Carl Dahlhaus,>

2. After the comma you give the name of the book which should be underlined in Italics <Esthetics of Music,> (if a word is underlined it means it is in italics. If you are using a word processor you should give book titles in italics).
   (III) if the book is translated into English you give the translator's name (in this case <tr. William Austin,> if the book is not translated then ignore this section

4. then you give the publisher <Cambridge University Press>
5. Then you give the place of publication <Sydney>. Sometimes there are a few places given: give the first one mentioned.
6. Then give the year of the most recent edition / publication (sometimes it give the date of earlier editions)
7. Then you give the page number from which you have quoted.

In example x I have written in brackets (Henceforth Esthetics). This simply means that if I refer to this book again I don't have to write out al the details as before but I can just write the word Esthetics and then the page number, e.g. Esthetics, p. 124 as I have shown in number 4. However, if I refer to the same book twice in a row you can just write Ibid., followed by the page number as I have shown in number 2. Ibid. simply means 'same as the previous title'.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

The layout of the bib is a tad different from the footnote layout. The bib comes at the very end of the essay and is arrange in alphabetical order. The examples below start at letter S. Please read through them very carefully. I chose these examples because they show you how to deal with a number of situations which arise when making out a bib.

Samson, J., The Music of Szymanowski, Kahn & Avril, London and New York, 1980.

Samson, J., (ed.), Chopin Studies, CUP, 1988.

Samson, J., (ed.) The Late Romantic Era: Man & Music vol. 7, Macmillan Press, London, 1991.

Samson, J., Chopin: The Four Ballades, CUP, 1992

Schoenberg, A., Structural Functions in Music, ed. Leonard Stein, London, 1969.

Schoenberg, A., Style and Idea, ed. Leonard Stein, University of California Press, 1984.

Stein, J., Richard Wagner and the Synthesis of the Arts, Wayne State University Press, 1960.

There are a number of things you should notice from the above examples.

1. Although they are arranged in alphabetical order, in the case where an author is quoted a number of times you arrange the books in chronological order (i.e. by year, see the Samson and Schoenberg examples)
2. CUP is an abbreviation for Cambridge University Press and OUP is an abbreviation Oxford University Press. Only use such abbreviations when you quote the same publisher numerous times.
3. There are finicky things like getting the commas in the right place. For example Arnold Schoenberg is given with the surname first and then the initial of the christian name followed by a full stop and then a comma.
4. Above you see Samson as an author and as an editor, hence you have (ed.) after his name to show he edited the book which is a collection of essays by different authors.

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This is where the Professor's handout ends. Of course, if you are currently in college and your professors have a different layout they would prefer you to use in your essays, do follow that. If you haven't been given a guide, well, now you have!

If you're curious about how my own essays progressed check out my book “A Compendium of Essays: Purcell, Hogarth and Handel, Beethoven, Liszt, Debussy, and Andrew Lloyd Webber”, click here.

For fun, see if you can guess which one of the essays WASN'T written while I was still in college.

You can also see the rest of my book titles, click here.

Also, if you want some more in-depth help when writing for the University, or even creative writing / fiction, etc, this is an excellent book, click on the title to read my review:  

The Oxford Guide to Writing: A Rhetoric and Handbook for College Students ~Book Review

TABLE OF CONTENTS - See past blog posts of “Books, Babble and Blarney”.

Your "Mona Lisa" Quote - Author, Explain Yourself!

Everyone once in awhile someone sends me a question about my work, which is all part of being an author.  

However, I also get pleas for assistance, asking me what did I mean by such-and-such a quote?  "I'm writing an essay, or dissertation, would appreciate your additional comments  or an explanation why you wrote that!"

And yes, it is obvious they have not read the book the quote has come from, or they wouldn't need to ask me why a quote is in the book and what it means, or what page it is on.  Some people even say so!  "Sorry, I haven't read your book, I would LOVE to read it someday, but if you could help me with this quote, and if you could tell me the page number it's on..."

Oh well. Because I'm trying to be a good person and not flip out when someone is asking me to do their research for them, especially as I recall what it was like being a student with the insane pressure of numerous final exams bearing down like a hammer on an anvil, I sometimes give an answer.  (I know, I know, I shouldn't), but here goes, the latest e-mail I received was a request to please explain the "Mona Lisa" quote in "Brushstrokes of a Gadfly".

Here is my response:

 

***

Dear John / Jane Doe,

The book is a Kunstlerroman novel depicting an artist's coming of age and as such features a Masters student, how she makes her way in the world after she has graduated from an exclusive arts humanities and college in New Jersey State. 

 

As part of the graduation ceremonies and traditions there is a special art competition sponsored by the famous Sirrac Gallery of Fifth Avenue that awards an enviable exhibition opportunity to the Masters student whom the judges deem has rendered exceptional work in representing the subject or theme chosen for the competition each year by the gallery.

Katherine Walsingham, the main character of the novel, is disappointed in how her entry is received, while what she deems to be 'insipid' and 'predictable' has been given the greatest honours. To add injury to insult, her work for the contest is ripped to shreds by an infamous art critic of New York known as the “Art Hacker” who has been known to make or break careers, which is just intolerable! Since she has the mind of a 'Socratic gadfly', she questions everything that 'The Establishment' and 'The Gatekeepers' hail as 'fine art', especially modern art, which can be ugly and quite atrocious in her view, while dramatic and beautiful works are relegated to the side or completely ignored.

After seeing the review, (which throws her whole family into a tizzy, it's that controversial), Katherine questions how people such as the college professors, modern gallery owners, and critics like the “Art Hacker” are allowed to dictate what is the epitome of 'fine art' and what should be considered famous or not, and in the process has also questioned why the “Mona Lisa” of all art works holds power over people.

I shall gave some of the text before and after the quote so you can see the context, beginning with her younger brother Stephen, or 'Steves' as he's called, the brainy genius of the family who doesn't quite take art very seriously but more of a slacker's hobby that might make an income once in awhile, (which also peeves Katherine sometimes). He thinks the scathing review misinterpreting her work in a foul light is actually a good thing!

* Beginning of excerpt *

“Let me see that article. Hmm, pretty good review, I think.”

“Steves! It’s not funny! How could you call it a good review? It’s horrible!”

“Now, sis, you shouldn’t have chosen art for a career if you can’t take the criticism, it’s part of the territory. Look, if you give a speech to fifty people in a room, they will repeat what they heard, not what you said. Art is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone will have their own interpretation. The review is good from the standpoint you have received some great publicity. Bad publicity is good publicity, after all.”

“Everyone is so upset, and I don’t want my work misinterpreted to this extent. I may not agree with everything that happens in the world, but I am not an anarchist or a religion-basher! Perhaps I should write a letter to the editor explaining the true symbolism, and make sure from now on I add a commentary to my works somehow … .”

Their mother nodded in agreement with this last suggestion.

“I wouldn’t, sis.”

“Why not?” the ladies chimed. Steves sighed with impatience.

“Well, you take away the thrill of discovery. If you explain everything for everyone, nobody will want to look further and study the work. It’s the unknown that draws people. Remember what you told us about the Mona Lisa, if da Vinci revealed why and how he painted it, would they still be gaping at it today, trying to figure it out?”

“No, I suppose not. That really is the ugliest portrait I’ve seen, the only thing that supposedly makes it famous is the mystery behind it,” Katherine admitted as she remembered her trips to the Louvre and how she shook her head at the poor tourists crowding around to see a jaundiced, eyebrow-less lady that reminded her of tight-lipped Washington on the dollar bill. Surely, they could have chosen a better portrait of the First President for their currency?

“Exactly. Take away the ambiguity, and nobody would pay two cents to see it. Let people try to fathom the meaning of something, and the mystery grows. So let certain misunderstandings and misinterpretations run wild, for there will always be those who want to see the work for themselves, and see it exactly as you intended. The more controversial a work is and talked about, the more famous it becomes.”

“How will I be able to handle the onslaught until they figure it out?” Katherine mused in dismay.” (…)

(End of Excerpt)

Katherine has visited the Louvre several times, and to see an eyebrowless woman that looks like she's suffering from jaundice get all the attention of all the crowding, oogling tourists that walk past all the other masterpieces as though they were only worth a footnote in the annals of Art galls her! Plus, the fact the most common note in their currency, the one dollar bill, has a unflattering portrait of President Washington that looks just like the “Mona Lisa” is another sore point!

 (C'mon, we've all thought about it!) 

(Washington can't even believe it.)

Of course Katherine will still continue on her personal philosophical quest to discover how the elements of “Mystery”, “Beauty” and “Truth” make a masterpiece, and at the same time do her best to battle against the strange paradox of how such 'ugly' pieces of work capture worldwide fame and attention simply because the 'Establishment' has made them famous.

She has some high-minded principles of her own, and the novel explores how she tries to put them into action in the 'real world' when she opens her own gallery and is confronted with 'Art as Business' and 'Art as Investment', paradoxes that clash with the philosophical ideals of 'Beauty' and 'Truth' associated with High Art. Yes, Katherine can be an annoying, but hopefully a lovable idealistic perfectionist, hence she stings like a gadfly. Sometimes, she is successful, other times she finds herself coming down off her high horse as the expression goes. (In the meantime, Life and Romance gets in the way of everything...which is a whole other ball game!)

Get your copy of Brushstrokes of a Gadfly today!

 (Click here for a list of shops in the book description.)

 

(Also, a SCARY sequel to Brushstrokes is NOW AVAILABLE! Click here for more details!)

 

Writer's 'Anti-Gel' and some Supernatural Assistance

A writer often is often asked: “What do you do when you are struck with Writer's Block?”

You know, that dreaded experience of trying to get the next project off the ground, but find yourself staring at the screen or notepad for hours because the words, story ideas or subject matter are nowhere in sight. Finding any inspiring idea just seems like trying to hunt and trap an extinct mythical creature that can no longer be caught and tamed. Frustrating!

That's your hard core definition of Writer's Block, not having something to write about.  However, believe it or not, in my experinece that's somewhat rare.  A 'block' also has its common variety of niggling frustrations that are more common.

How about the kind where you have your story or academic subject matter ready to put to page, depending on where your creativity is leading you, everything is all laid out in your notes or plot sketches, you have all the information you could ever want, but you still can't seem to start the thing? The first paragraph, not to mention the first page or three, is crucial because you know that's your opportunity to catch your reader's attention. You hope you nail it … but.....you could botch the whole thing and turn your reader off forever.

This expectation of making a good first impression can weigh a writer down, literately block them from starting because nothing sounds and feels right when you type or write it out, and then the anxiety sets in that convinces you're a hopeless mess-up, which makes it worse. Nothing seems to 'gel' together, so I will metaphorically call his icky place the dark paralysing world of “Writer's Anti-Gel”.

When starting the first chapter, of “Faust: My Soul Be Damned for the World, Vol.1”, guess who literally sat for two days a good half of the third staring at a blank screen coaxing the creative muse to appear with loads of coffee and chocolate until FINALLY the first introductory paragraphs 'gelled' into place. (And no, I wasn't goofing on the Internet, I wasn't connected at the time. I was off it several years in fact!)

Writers will tell you just hammer something out and then edit the crud out of it later: you won't get anywhere unless you force yourself to write and get a first draft together, because if you wait for inspiration, it'll take half a lifetime before you get a book together.

Yes, there is truth to that, I do hammer things out be it good or bad once I get into the actual draft and there's something to build on and then edit, but the first paragraphs, (and okay, I'll admit, a good portion of my texts), I like to make sure it sounds perfect in my head and I'll keep editing it as I write instead of just writing away without polishing as I go, so of course, I get stuck in the parallel non-creative gloopy gloopity glop slow-paced dimension that is “Writer's Anti-Gel” until it finally gels in the right direction.

The thing is, the last paragraphs and closing segments are just as tricky in their own way as the first. “Faust” is a historical academic epic so to speak, so naturally the end of the chapter has its own unique requirements. I needed a satisfying conclusion that gels in a way so it's not rambling but not abrupt either, something that makes a lasting impression regarding the vast amount of information just presented and that rounds the whole thing off just nicely in a page, preferably less, maybe with a memorable kick.

Well, when I was nearing the end of that first chapter I got stuck in the non-gelling “anti-gel” universe again. When you're writing about how a real historical individual may have sold his soul to the devil for knowledge, power and worldly glory, and you want to round off this gruesome history 'quite nicely' with a 'memorable kick', that's a tall order!

Of course, I knew I was going to be staring at the screen for days on end with this doozie, but rather than succumbing to staring and wasting time moaning in the Realm of Anti-Gel, or hammering out just anything until it was squished and prodded into place and still feeling like a product that was way below par even for a draft, I did what any desperate writer does ….

I prayed. 

Yes, seriously.

No, I'm not kidding.

I thought of my Guardian Angel, who often gets ignored even though I know he's there.

We never think of our invisible guardians enough or ask their assistance, even with our daily tasks. They don't just guard us from temptation and danger, they like us to involve them in our lives. They take a keen interest in everything we do and they like helping us in our work, (as long as it's not sinful of course!)

  So, I reached out to my neglected princely friend and told him what was needed to finish my first chapter and asked if he could enlighten me with an idea, maybe let me know how to polish it off ....

Then...'It' happened.

No sooner was the request made when the words started to interiorly flow so quickly like a bubbling

cascade it was like I was taking speed dictation. I was literally yelling in my head 'Not so fast! Not so fast!', my fingers tapping away trying to capture that miraculous flow as the text rolled out right to the very end...then, stopped.

This was so different from the 'running flash' of inspiration to where you don't want to stop writing because you're on a roll. I've had that too quite a few times, but when those 'running flashes' happen, it still feel like it's you and your ideas. This wasn't exactly like that. It was really was as if “someone else” was interiorly dropping the words and I was doing my best to keep up with their pace. Prayer answered!

So a word to the struggling writer: try giving prayer a chance, and while you're at it, don't forget you have an angel at your side.

Here it is, the final paragraph to the first chapter of “Faust: My Soul be Damned for the World Volume I”, which I cannot take credit for. I give it fully to my Guardian Angel:

“Faustus, who embraced evil and shunned righteousness, became the foremost symbol of the misuse of free will, that sublime gift from God with its inherent opportunity to choose virtue and reject iniquity. “What shall a man gain if he has the whole world and lose his soul,” (Matt. 16: v. 26) - but for a notorious name, the ethereal shadow of a career, and a brief life of fleeting pleasure with no true peace? This was the blackest and most captivating tragedy of all, few could have remained indifferent to the growing intrigue of this individual who apparently shook hands with the devil and freely chose to descend to the molten, sulphuric chasm of Hell for all eternity for so little in exchange. It is a drama that continues to fascinate today as powerfully as when Faustus first disseminated his infamous card in the Heidelberg locale to the scandal of his generation. In fine, a life of good or evil, the hope of Heaven or the despair of Hell, Faustus stands as a reminder that the choice between these two absolutes also falls to us.” 


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If you find yourself stuck in a situation, no matter what it is -- don't forget to pray.

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TABLE  OF CONTENTS -  See other posts on "Books, Babble and Blarney"

How to Write a HELPFUL ‘Bad’ Book Review

In a previous blog post, Do You Know You Have a Superpower? I nagged everyone about the importance of taking the time to write a good book review if you liked a book as reviews help an author immensely, however, I  left you all hanging with the promise of how to write something quite different ~ the ‘Good’ Bad Book Review.

So, now I’m keeping my promise and won’t leave you hanging any longer. 

To recap, good reviews are important, and we authors really appreciate them, but then, what if you the reader didn’t like a book?

 

First off, I’ll remind everyone that pumping out a lot of bad reviews is not a good thing to do. 

If you write a lot of bad reviews, your public profile on whatever site you like to post your reviews will end up looking awful and cast YOU in a bad light...you will come across as a sourpuss troll who doesn’t like anything and will find fault with everything.  It’s one of the reasons why I don’t like to post anything below a three star review, and very few three-star reviews at that. 

As I said before, you can kill a book faster by your silence than by writing a bad review.

So if you want to spare someone else from wasting their hard earned cash on what you think is a bad book, just don’t say anything about it.  Bad reviews can backfire and actually make people curious about why the book is sooooo bad, and they end up buying the thing anyway, which is what you trying to save them from in the first place.

Okay, from that angle a few bad reviews might help an author too, but frankly, if you can’t say something nice, write something helpful along with your grumblings ~ go for a three star thing.

This is how you can save yourself from looking like a meanie sourpuss online, help people discover if it is still a book they want, and help an author discover their weaknesses, while yet helping to promote their book without destroying their work entirely. Notice the keyword? HELP.

  Yes, it still helps!

Just give it three stars, (don’t go under that amount) and write a ‘middling review’, or to look at it in a more positive light ~ a ‘helpful’ bad book review.  In that way, it ends up being a good review despite whatever flaws you saw in it, and doesn’t burn the book entirely.

How do you do that?

1)      Describe the book, plus what you didn’t like, (no plot spoilers please), then...

2)      DO include things that still may reading it worthwhile, even if it wasn’t quite what you were looking for. Find some of the silver lining and include it in your review.

I’ll give an example of a ‘Middling’ 3 star review I wrote.

Way back in college, I had to read a few of books on Medieval and Early Modern history during an introduction course on Medieval music, just to get a feel for the period.  One book on the list which we the students were encouraged to read was what was described on the back cover as  a “lively” and accessible, and is ‘used as an introduction’ to the period: “Europe in the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Centuries” by Denys Hay.

Hmm, I didn’t find it that ‘lively’, and ‘accessible’ to a beginner studying the period like the blurb portrayed it, so how could it be such a ‘great introduction’ to new students as the back cover promised?  In fact, it felt like it was geared towards those who were already very familiar with the era.

 

Basically, it felt like bad advertising, like when you order a product online and the product is not like how it is portrayed in the photos.  Same with fast food advertising!  The food never looks  like its picture. 

BUT we love the taste of fast food anyway, and the 'fast' part they have advertised correctly, even if we fill picture-jipped, right?  MIDDLE POSITION.

 

 

I felt the same about the book, great stuff, but not as portrayed, i.e. as something 'lively and accessible for a beginner', it was a trifle boring to wade through, not 'lively', despite all the really good info, which I did like. 

Well, here is my ‘middling’ review on it, pointing out where it fell flat to me, but ALSO pointing out what other stuff it had that was good, so you get the idea:

***

“As the title suggests, it is a general overview of the late medieval period of Europe, and according to the back cover, has become the standard introduction to that era in universities and colleges. My sympathies to all future history 101 students who are assigned this book in their reading lists. Yes, it is packed with information, but it is dished out in such a general form that after wading through the text from cover to cover, you feel no wiser than before, even for a general introduction, it simply fails to engage the reader ala Froissart.  Perhaps the author tried to fit too much data into a little space, and the chapters are rather short. However, it is useful for searching out informative quotations and factoids for term papers and other research projects. It is more helpful if used simply as an encyclopaedic reference book, for instance, looking up different sections on conditions of trade, religious practises and the church councils, conditions of travel, the arts and culture, the ravages and outcomes of battles, the various successions to the royal thrones of Europe, etc, rather than expect it to be an attention-grabbing read. Several interesting general genealogical tables are included in the appendix, i.e. for the English Royal family, the rulers of Portugal, Castile, Aragon and Navarre, Poland Hungary and Bohemia, the rulers of Naples and Milan, the Medicis, the Scandinavian kingdoms, the German and Holy Roman Emperors, and also the Palaeologi and Ottoman rulers from this period. There are also several maps displaying the political layout of Europe in those times, and an index. I would recommend it as a reference book to thumb through when needed, but that is all.”

***

Now, you see what I didn’t like about the book, BUT, you should also see that I pointed out what else the book contained and might prove helpful to someone for whatever research they need to do.   In fact, there is a lot of information in the book.  In that sense, my middle-of-the-road grumblings become a ‘helpful’ review.

In fact, as I write this, that review on Amazon still has five thumbs up and no thumbs down yet from customers who found my review ‘helpful’, which is the whole point.  Perhaps they might agree with my opinion, and not buy the book, OR, they may see the description I wrote and think, “Hey, this book still has what I need.” 

So, it’s a winner all around: I get what I didn’t like off my chest while not ripping that book to shreds, (a lot of research and work went into after all), and the review proves helpful to someone else by still showing it’s a book that THEY might like even if I personally didn’t find it all it was cracked up to be.

Now, I must warn you, there is a downside  to writing these ‘Middle Star’ reviews, which is a reason why I don’t write many of them just like I don’t write all-out bad reviews: people sometimes don’t see the good points you’ve written, and just seem to focus on the ‘bad’ stuff and think you are still dissing the book outright, when in fact, you aren’t.  They think you’re a meanie!  

The only reason why I’ve ever done two of these middling reviews at all is to show I’m not giving a ‘happy clappy’ four or five star rating on everything I review without due deliberation.  I review books I like, but will give a so-so review every now and again too, which should show people if they look at my public profile I actually think about what I'm writing before I post a review ~ they ARE getting my honest opinion.

However, like I said, people still take the three star thing the wrong way.  I discovered one comment on Amazon from a user named “Mike DePUe, OFS” that said:

“It is worth noting that Eamon Duffy (Saints and Sinners: A History of the Popes; Third Edition (Yale Nota Bene), p. 436), finds this book "invaluable."”

Well, I just left a comment with that:

“Hi! Well, it is invaluable depending on the reader I guess! For facts and figures, statistics, yes, it is very useful, which I did point out. I just found the way the history was present a bit 'dry': as I wrote in the review, I was hoping for a book along the lines of Froissart's chronicles, something which made you feel as if you were transported back then, something that would help me to get a 'flavour' of the cultures, the customs, how people really thought...it depends what you're looking for in a book. :-)”

Yet this didn’t satisfy someone else who saw my review, for another comment popped up from a user called “Santosh”:

“This isn't a very good review at all; it merely states the book does not conform to what the reviewer wanted in a book. Then why did you buy it? Didn't you have any idea what it contained?” 

You gotta be kidding me.

Okay, this testy observation from Santosh was a bit much considering they had only written two reviews on Amazon to date, and not positive ones at that, a one star and a two star review.  Maybe I should have left it alone, but of course, I had to comment:

***

(Me:) “That's odd ~ five of five people so far found the review 'helpful', so if the review explains exactly what is in the book to help other readers make an informed purchase, (whether or not the book was what I was looking for), it is a 'good' review in that sense.

Yes, I had an idea it would be about Europe in the 14th and 15th centuries as the title suggested, (I can read after all), but was disappointed the material was so 'dry' and not 'lively' as it is described on the back cover.

At least, I didn't think so. It is not engaging like Froissart's contemporary chronicles of the Middle Ages, or as another modern-day example concerning Elizabethan England, "The World of Christopher Marlowe" by David Riggs.

Is "Europe in the 14th and 15th Centuries" informative? Yes. Useful? Yes.
Dry and hard to wade through from cover to cover? Yes. You get buried under facts and information. Great for essays and fact-checking. I found it helpful in one or two areas. Does it help keep you *interested* in the period because of said 'dryness'? No, not for me.

One big problem I found: too much important history was generalised into many short chapters, when whole books would be needed to delve into those topics, volumes in fact! Not just a chapter. Perhaps the book is *too* general and the author fit too much in. Two centuries of European history squashed into 450 or so pages? Ambitious.

That's why I give it a middle star rating. If I outright hated the thing, I would have given it one star, but I rarely hate a book! So, in this case, I just stated my opinion, while people can judge from it whether this book is something they can use or not.

(I can't help but think that if anyone actually *reads* my review, they would see all this already.)

Useful review = good review, despite the star rating.”

 ***

There ended my comment.  Well, rising to the bait of a troll wasn’t a complete waste of time in this instance, it did allow me to explain again why I disliked the book plus gave me an opportunity to say good things about the book again.

In all, I think you get the point.  It’s possible to write a three star review so you can mention the few things that bugged you about it, but not trash a book entirely so you can still help an author.   

However, do so at your own risk: you may get reactions from people who can’t seem to *read* what you are actually saying, but if you like to get into bookish debates, go for it! 


 

You heard the President!

Write a GOOD book review!  And if you simply can't, try to keep your review to a 3 Star and find some good points to say about it.

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"Boccalini in his 'Adertisements from Parnassus' tells us that Zoilus once presented Apollo a very caustic criticism upon a very admirable book, whereupon the god asked him for the beauties of the work.  He replied that he had only busied himself about the errors. On hearing this, Apollo, handing him a sack of unwinnowed wheat, bade him to pick out all the chaff for his reward." ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Don't be like Zoilus! Find the wheat!

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